if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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