this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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