Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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