doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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