He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
