I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
