this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
