Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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