she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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