i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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