Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
