O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
