I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
