Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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