how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize