i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
