haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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