I want to walk on stilts...naked
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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