he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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