So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
