he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
