I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
