I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
