what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
