youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
