One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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