btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
