took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
