Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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