If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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