im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
its liver damage thursday
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
