I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
