How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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