Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
