Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Even my vagina gasped.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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