Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
