Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
