some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
