put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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