We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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