Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
