She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
