Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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