I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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