Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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