so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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