i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize