If that was your dad, he is hot
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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