the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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