Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
