Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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