The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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