I wish i was in the wii world.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
