When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
