Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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