3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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