Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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