You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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