Me. At least after what I've been through.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
