and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
