I wish I only lived at night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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