he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
