Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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