3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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