i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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