so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
