Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
