drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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