i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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