everyone is single if you try hard enough
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize