He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
