"it" just moved
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
